Bathroom is empty
not all that much work to do
great christmas eve poo
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I just gave birth to
I just gave birth to a brown baby boy
perhaps he shall grow to a fast samoan like troy
but most likely will be flushed
perhaps he shall grow to a fast samoan like troy
but most likely will be flushed
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
The feeling of weightlessness comes
The feeling of weightlessness
comes quick to those who
take copious amounts of laxitives
comes quick to those who
take copious amounts of laxitives
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Misty mountain air flows from
Misty mountain air flows from cool blue peak
but it is a toilet that the wanderer seek
fuck the view...get thee a pot
but it is a toilet that the wanderer seek
fuck the view...get thee a pot
Wine by night is a
Wine by night is a pleasant delight
but in the morning, take warning
your head will hurt with fright
but in the morning, take warning
your head will hurt with fright
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Why on this summer day
Why on this summer day
the clouds are harsh with threats of rain?
must seek refuge in a place with no windows
the clouds are harsh with threats of rain?
must seek refuge in a place with no windows
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Although yesterday while eating it
Although yesterday while eating it seemed so sane
all that hotsauce today is causing neverending pain
all that hotsauce today is causing neverending pain
Monday, July 6, 2009
The misty air might mislead
The misty air might mislead
when from the toilet the bottom succeeds
and the fresh smell is forever forgotten
when from the toilet the bottom succeeds
and the fresh smell is forever forgotten
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Dont look down on me
Dont look down on me
for shitting twice in one day
i wouldnt have it any other way
for shitting twice in one day
i wouldnt have it any other way
One might be an early
One might be an early riser
that doesnt mean you should postpone
the clearing of the bowels
that doesnt mean you should postpone
the clearing of the bowels
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The rays of the sun
The rays of the sun beat so kindly from the eastern sky
but only when on the throne can life refuse to quit and die
but only when on the throne can life refuse to quit and die
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The walls are rather tiny
The walls are rather tiny and shoddy
but relief is clear in this port o potty
but relief is clear in this port o potty
Friday, June 19, 2009
Constipation leads to writers block
Constipation leads to writers block
a poets words can suddenly stop
and the world will cease to spin around
a poets words can suddenly stop
and the world will cease to spin around
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Speak your thoughts you gentle
Speak your thoughts you gentle muse
strength and courage willingly use
But when the bladder speaks one cant refuse
strength and courage willingly use
But when the bladder speaks one cant refuse
Sitting and shitting should show
Sitting and shitting should show some
that squatting and potting is so dumb
that squatting and potting is so dumb
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
And if the clouds might
And if the clouds might impede
the growing of a gracious seed
be sure to keep on keeping on
And fail to so easy heed
the growing of a gracious seed
be sure to keep on keeping on
And fail to so easy heed
I am an idealist
This is not ideal
In a world where things are seen
From a perspective dubbed "real"
Is there no one else who still holds visions of youthful glee?
Is there no one else who dreams, but me?
Well false to this I say,
For the only things real thus far in my day
Are the coffee in my mug, the dirt stain on my shoe, and the walls at which I am staring from this bathroom stall too
But none too real do I ever find
The complaints of the daily political grind
Yes I too can fear, I'm not an idiot, I said idealist
Maybe learn to read before you start to preach
But why can't I, for once deny the notion that anything ideal is laughably surreal?
And if I'm wrong, so be it
I'll believe it when I see it
At least I can find comfort in my dreams
much like the comfort I find exploring my mind from the edges of this toilet seat
Carry on as you wish, I have my own beat
This is not ideal
In a world where things are seen
From a perspective dubbed "real"
Is there no one else who still holds visions of youthful glee?
Is there no one else who dreams, but me?
Well false to this I say,
For the only things real thus far in my day
Are the coffee in my mug, the dirt stain on my shoe, and the walls at which I am staring from this bathroom stall too
But none too real do I ever find
The complaints of the daily political grind
Yes I too can fear, I'm not an idiot, I said idealist
Maybe learn to read before you start to preach
But why can't I, for once deny the notion that anything ideal is laughably surreal?
And if I'm wrong, so be it
I'll believe it when I see it
At least I can find comfort in my dreams
much like the comfort I find exploring my mind from the edges of this toilet seat
Carry on as you wish, I have my own beat
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Morning Sun
As the morning sun gently rises
Bringing a day of endless surprises
and the fields of victory are ripe for those to reap
heart sings its high pitched shrill
moving faster than a Chinese fire drill
for the fruits of todays labor are only yours to keep
Yonder eastern sun shines nurturing light
To which provide endless delight
And do with which can only one decide
Carpe Diem is the way
To live by every day
Without which will happiness subside.
Bringing a day of endless surprises
and the fields of victory are ripe for those to reap
heart sings its high pitched shrill
moving faster than a Chinese fire drill
for the fruits of todays labor are only yours to keep
Yonder eastern sun shines nurturing light
To which provide endless delight
And do with which can only one decide
Carpe Diem is the way
To live by every day
Without which will happiness subside.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Toilet Seat Heat
Seemingly worlds apart
Our hearts in unison beat
Longing for your kiss
My lips feel incomplete
Every time ours touch
They generate enough heat
To keep 10,000 igloos warm
No other 4 lips can compete
That for this spark for long I've longed
I hope history will repeat
But at present time I'll end this rhyme
And say "I'm thinking of you, from my favorite toilet seat"
Our hearts in unison beat
Longing for your kiss
My lips feel incomplete
Every time ours touch
They generate enough heat
To keep 10,000 igloos warm
No other 4 lips can compete
That for this spark for long I've longed
I hope history will repeat
But at present time I'll end this rhyme
And say "I'm thinking of you, from my favorite toilet seat"
Newton's Dilemma
O Gravity! Help me with my task
of relieving my bladder, and do it fast
For without the touch you provide
My poo would stay in my belly
No matter what the tide
-by the Throne Master
of relieving my bladder, and do it fast
For without the touch you provide
My poo would stay in my belly
No matter what the tide
-by the Throne Master
Tap Dance
Tap tap/pop pop
That's the way my nuggets drop
However big, however small
They all get flushed in the same stall
But if I rise far in advance
One may just drop right in my pants
That's the way my nuggets drop
However big, however small
They all get flushed in the same stall
But if I rise far in advance
One may just drop right in my pants
WELCOME!
When nature calls, the thoughts begin
A poem forms from the gaseous winds
And all the petty problems of the day
With one big flush get washed away
Inscribe these thoughts and you'll soon see
Its a one way ticket to immortality
A poem forms from the gaseous winds
And all the petty problems of the day
With one big flush get washed away
Inscribe these thoughts and you'll soon see
Its a one way ticket to immortality
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